I’m convinced that self-love is the secret to healing the world. The way we treat others is simply a reflection of how we treat ourselves. And to be honest, I think most of us treat ourselves pretty crappy.
When I’m angry with others, my words can cut deep. But those words are just a small glimpse of the ways I put myself down. I have an enslaving sense of perfectionism and often expect others to also deliver perfectly. I believe that true forgiveness is a lost art because most of us have yet to know how it feels to truly forgive ourselves. It’s a vicious cycle that starts within.
I remember a Christian friend saying, “We must be brutal with self, gracious with others”. When asked how he was doing, a pastor I knew would always respond sadly with, “Better than I deserve”. A religious family member believed that withholding forgiveness was fair game towards those who wouldn’t adequately repent and change.
Self-love is something I rejected for most of my life. It sounded cheesy and pointless. I kind of thought the idea was to hate yourself in order to be a good person. Self-love felt too close to narcissism and psychology for my conservative views. So I continued to starve myself of self-love, looking for it instead in the people and things around me. Somehow, I always felt deprived.
I knew God loved me, but I couldn’t seem to feel it. I knew God had forgiven me completely, but I still felt ashamed. I read in the Bible of an abundant God but continued to believe I deserved nothing more than the scraps of life. I treated my body, feelings, and life with a quiet sense of disdain. Using others, manipulating situations, trying to control life – was an unconscious result of the love I needed to get everywhere I went.
One exhausted and depleted day this past year, I just gave up. I was tired of being emotionally empty, I was tired of asking others to do for me what only I could do myself. I felt needy and desperate, and it just wasn’t cute anymore. I was sick and tired of hating myself. I desired love, and I wanted it from me.
I learned that language is important. I made a decision to speak to myself in a loving manner. I continued to groom my inner voice towards self-compassion, speaking to myself as though I were my very best friend. I sought to understand and support myself in every way. I would now become my greatest ally, lover, and protector.
Since becoming a self-love junkie, I notice a difference in myself. I feel peaceful, less stressed out, and more confident. I’m less controlling and feel at ease around others. I am kinder, more patient, and more compassionate with loved ones. I feel a strong propensity to forgive others when they hurt me. Since deciding to love myself, I have more energy to love others.
If there is one piece of advice I’d like to give, it is to remove all negative self-talk from your vocabulary and to speak to yourself with lovingkindness. You’re the only one that will always understand you. You have to learn to be your greatest ally. It’s the only answer to the deprivation we feel as human beings. I want to love myself deeply, and love the heck out of my neighbor, too.
Love thy neighbor as thyself. –Matthew 22:39
#Benice to yourself. Vow not to criticize, tear-down or verbally abuse yourself – ever again! Make a decision to replace all negative self-talk with #lovingkindness. In a world of people that hate themselves and others – let's make a #change today. 💗 #asianmodel #asian #koreanmodel #korean #face #eyes #skin #brunette #selflove #grace #forgiveness #healing
Loving yourself requires action. Stop shitting on God's creation (you) and start appreciating His creation (you again). We love others to the extent that we love ourselves – so let's love ourselves abundantly. ❤️ #selflove #love #loveyourself #lovequotes #lovequote #selflovequote #selflovequote #selflovejunkie #iloveyou #ilovemyself