This post discusses the root of my financial fears and the steps I’ve taken to overcome them in order to manifest a life of wealth and abundance. There are so many ways in which we manifest our reality. I open my eyes and look around, and see with clarity, what it is I truly believe about myself. The secret thoughts and ideas I hold about life, have been manifested in my reality today. I have come to believe that our current lifestyle is merely a mirror reflection of the beliefs we hold about ourselves.
My Unconscious Resistance to Money
Much of my life is really beautiful. I’ve got a pretty studio apartment, a reliable Honda, superb health, amazing credit and an abundance of friends. I’ve been blessed to always pursue the work I love – mixing my passion for entrepreneurship, personal development, spirituality and the performing arts.
But what about my finances? If I’m honest, I’m not where I’d like to be. As much as I’ve ignored and resisted it, deep down, I always felt I was meant to be rich.
My middle-class life has always felt like bondage. Everything from forgoing vacations, to wasted time searching for sales, to not enough staff to grow my business, to overworking in order to make ends meet, to not being able to generously give to family, church, and charity – my middle-class lifestyle has limited me in every way.
I view being rich as a means of giving more. I see rich people as the ones with the power to help, heal and change the world. In my mind, they are the ones with the real freedom. And probably the most important thing to me is my personal freedom. Money isn’t everything, but without it, I’ve come to see my hands are tied.
As an artistic entrepreneur, I’m proud to admit I fell in the top 5% – earning between $50-100K per year for the past several years. However, no matter what occurred, I always felt stressed, fearful and even broke – when it came to my finances. I saw people no smarter or talented than I, creating abundance left and right. What the hell was their secret, I wondered?
I dove head-first into the art of manifesting money, seeking the advice of podcasters, writers and the obviously rich. I began to learn about subconscious blocks, self-sabotage, and unhealed childhood wounds – which were preventing me from creating the life of abundance I desired. I was going to have to heal the root of the problem in order to see a lasting, growing, manifesting change.
After much soul-searching, I came to what I believe is the root of my money issues. I consider it relatively complex and mostly related to the trauma of having a gambling-addict father. He blew all our hopes and dreams at the casino, and it left a very bad taste in my mouth.
In addition, I believe I adopted the feeling of helplessness regarding money, as a means of getting love and attention. The needier I was, the more others had to come in to rescue me – mainly, well-meaning men. I got something out of being the damsel in distress, and adopting a less-intimidating demeanor.
I also believe I’ve played very small in my life, so as to not threaten or hurt others. Many people would look at my life and my accomplishments as playing-big-enough. But I assure you, I’ve played very small in comparison to the gifts I have inside me. I think playing small is an epidemic amongst women. The fear of stepping into the greatness of who God created us to be, feels threatening and isolating. Keeping myself financially small was just another way of people-pleasing.
I’ve learned a lot thus far regarding abundance. I’ve already begun implementing certain philosophies into my own life. I’m not a millionaire yet (as I plan to be), but I’m taking huge leaps, changing my mindset, healing old wounds, and pressing forward in faith. I am trusting that if I follow my heart and these basic principles, the abundance will come!
Here is a summary of what I’ve learned so far:
Heal Money Issues
This occurs when we dive into our past and find the root of the problem. For me, it was the first memories I had of stress related to my dad’s business. He was a Korean entrepreneur, and with that came stress. Good years and bad years. Lots of tears and degrading scenarios. The stress led my dad to pour his life into gambling, and we lost everything. Houses, food, opportunities and peace of mind. Identifying the root cause of your tumultuous relationship with this energy source is key, and only you know the answer. I recommend prayer, quiet walks, and meditation in order to unveil the truth of why you are continuing to suffer at the hands of money.
Abundance Mindset & Focus
What you focus on expands – and being broke is no different. If I had a dollar for all the times I stated that I couldn’t afford something, or had to pass due to financial constraints, or was too poor – I’d be rich! My own words cast a dark money-spell on my life. The truth is that money is an energy and a vibration – and so is being broke. I no longer shop at Walmart, surround myself with broke-artists or discuss my financial worries. I do the opposite – shopping at Nordstrom, surrounding myself with abundant-thinkers, and thanking God daily for the blessings I currently possess! I literally move away from anything that creates a feeling of financial-lack and gravitate toward whatever thoughts, spaces, and people create feelings of abundance. Like attracts like. Think very hard about who you surround yourself with, and love yourself enough to open your life up to abundant-thinkers, places, and things.
Here is where I’m stellar. I am a brilliant, hard-working, and focused executor of whatever I feel passionate about. Which I know is a really special component of my personality. Why is it I can create something amazing, from nothing at all, and carry it through to the end – and to success? Because I am intuitively inspired. I pick up projects that feel right to my soul for a greater purpose, and I wait on God to reveal the how. I take things one diligent step at a time, and I ask God to reveal the path I should take. My hard-work is supernaturally inspired. I play and try and fail until something brilliant comes to me that works! I really do have a light and playful attitude about grinding. It’s why I can literally work 7-days-a-week for my entire adult life, with energy to spare! When God places a desire in your heart, sit back and play and have fun. Wait on Him to bring you the how. When he brings it to you, carry it out diligently, one step at a time.
Reinvesting & Growing Wealth
This is something I know nothing about because, though I had a business that made good money, between business expenses and life – there was little to spare. My parents were not generous either, as they came from a mindset of lack. I intend to diversify through reinvestment back into my own business and staff, investing in real estate and retirement, and donating the rest. I now see money as miraculous energy to do beautiful things on the planet. Grant Cardone (money expert) says that the energy of money gets bored if you let it sit too long. He recommends an offensive approach to making money – which means learning how to generate it abundantly. This is the opposite of most Americans, who save/hoard their pennies, in an attempt to play financial defense. I, personally, prefer an offensive approach to money-management. Cardone suggests spending it, sharing it, reinvesting it and donating it – in order to continue to create more. I plan to follow his advice!
I always felt uncomfortable talking about money, or expressing my honest desires regarding the matter. I am trying very hard to be open with the world about what I really want. And the truth is, deep inside, I’ve always known I was meant to be rich. If anyone is going to use, grow and share money wisely – it’s me. And so, in a sense, I feel wealth is my destiny. Which explains why middle-class living (i.e. feeling broke all the time) always felt like a prison to me – it was so out of alignment with the deeper desires of my heart. So now that I am coming into alignment with the lifestyle I feel called to, I’m just waiting for the physical manifestation to appear. And I know it will.
Can you relate to wanting to be rich? Do you feel any shame regarding wealth? What would you do with your first million? God gives to the generous – how can you be generous with what you have today?
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Today I choose to consider all my circumstances as – #perfect. Everything that occurs is #meanttobe. Every fear is to be embraced. Every circumstance I accept. Every storm will reveal a #beautiful #rainbow. I accept all things in my life as perfect. 🌸 #curves #curvywomen #plussizemodel #plussizefashion #korean #asian #selflove #selfcompassion #faith #healing
Sending love to anyone out there that is suffering today. You aren’t alone. God sees every tear. And He cares. Beautiful things are ahead – just keep going forward in faith. 🌸 #quotestagram #quoteoftheday #quotes #quote #inspirationalquote #originalquote #ogquote #prettyquote #beautifulquote #motivationalquote #loveyourselfquote #faith #truth #love #hope #hardship #suffering #longsuffering #healing #growth
Today I feel: #Peaceful 💗 Deep down, which is where I really try to live, I know I was meant to live a #blessed, #abundant, #inspired life. I’m grateful to be alive at this time in history, I’m grateful to be 100% pursuing my dreams, I’m grateful to be in the hands of a loving God. And I’m grateful for crop tops. Just love em 😉 #curvy #curves #curvaceous #plussizemodel #plussizeasian #asianmodel #koreanmodel #bodyconfidence #beautiful #innerbeauty #feminine #bodylove #jennylynchung #youtuber #blogger #podcaster #curvybabe #singer #musician #vocalist #artist #creative
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If you like this post – Healing My Unconscious Resistance To Money, Wealth & Abundance – or felt inspired in any way, please comment below and share it with your friends. Your time is precious – thanks for meeting me here. See you next Thursday for another selflove blog post.