I’m convinced that selflove is the secret to healing the world. The way we treat others is simply a reflection of how we treat ourselves. And to be honest, I think most of us treat ourselves pretty crappy. This blog post was created to help us learn to cultivate the healing power of selflove. And it can be done!
When I’m angry with others, my words can cut deep. But those words are just a small glimpse of the ways I put myself down. I have an enslaving sense of perfectionism and often expect others to also deliver perfectly, as well. I believe that true forgiveness is a lost art because most of us have yet to know how it feels to truly forgive ourselves. It’s a vicious cycle that starts within.
I think selfhate is rampant in my own religion (Christianity), where I learned to pierce my own condemnation even further. I remember a Christian friend saying, “We must be brutal with self, gracious with others.” Apparently he felt whipping oneself was fair? A pastor I knew would always respond with, “Better than I deserve” – when asked how he was doing. Does God feel we deserve a pile of misery every day? A religious family member of mine believes that that withholding forgiveness is fair game, should you not repent and change according to his high standards. Do we really have the authority to be so up-to-date on the sin of others, per say?
Selflove is something I rejected for most of my life. It sounded cheesy and pointless. I kind of thought the idea was to hate yourself, in order to be a good person. Selflove felt too close to narcissism and psychology for my conservative views. So I continued to starve myself of love, looking for it, instead, in the people and things around me. Somehow, I always felt deprived.
I knew God loved me, but I couldn’t seem to feel it. I knew God had forgiven me completely, but I still felt ashamed. I read in the Bible of a God filled with lovingkindness towards His children, but continued to believe I deserved nothing more than the scraps of life. I treated my body, feelings, and life with a quiet sense of disdain. Subconsciously using others, manipulating situations, trying to control life – because I needed to get love so badly.
One exhausted and depleted day this past year, I just gave up. I was tired of being emotionally empty, I was tired of asking others to do for me what only I could do myself. I felt needy and desperate, and it just wasn’t cute anymore. I was sick and tired of hating myself. I desired love, and I wanted it from myself.
I have since learned that language is important. I made a decision to speak to myself in a loving manner. I continued to groom my inner voice towards self-compassion, speaking to myself as though I were my very best friend. I sought to understand and support myself in every way. I would now become my greatest ally, guide and protector.
Since becoming a selflove junkie, I notice a difference in myself. I feel peaceful, less stressed out, and more confident. I’m less controlling and feel at ease around others. I am kinder, more patient, and more compassionate with loved ones. I feel a strong propensity to forgive others when they hurt me. Since deciding to love myself, I have more energy to love others.
If there is one piece of advice I’d like to give, it is to remove all negative self-talk from your vocabulary, and to speak to yourself with lovingkindness. You’re the only one that will always understand you. You have to learn to be your greatest ally. It’s the only answer to the deprivation we feel as human beings. I want to love myself deeply, and love the heck out of my neighbor, too.
Love thy neighbor as thyself. –Matthew 22:39
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#Benice to yourself. Vow not to criticize, tear-down or verbally abuse yourself – ever again! Make a decision to replace all negative self-talk with #lovingkindness. In a world of people that hate themselves and others – let’s make a #change today. 💗 #asianmodel #asian #koreanmodel #korean #face #eyes #skin #brunette #selflove #grace #forgiveness #healing
Some selflove youtube videos!
If you like this post – The Healing Power of Selflove – or felt inspired in any way, please comment below and share it with your friends. Your time is precious – thanks for meeting me here. See you next Thursday for another selflove blog post.